Boredom - Nov 22nd

“Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.”
~ Thomas S. Szasz

A.A. Thought for the Day

I have got rid of most of my boredom. One of the hardest things that a new member of A.A. has to understand is how to stay sober and not be bored. Drinking was always the answer to all kinds of boring people or boring situations. But once you have taken up the interest of A.A., once you have given it your time and enthusiasm, boredom should not be a problem to you. A new life opens up before you that can be always interesting. Sobriety should give you so many new interests in life that you shouldn't have time to be bored. Have I got rid of the fear of being bored?

Boredom still dogs me occasionally, I try to respond with curiosity in the world around me. If that doesn't work then I go to a meeting

~ Mike

Money - Nov 21st

A fool and his money are soon parted.
~ Thomas Tusser

A.A. Thought for the Day

I no longer waste money, but try to put it to good use. Like all of us, when I was drunk, I threw money around like I really had it. It gave me a feeling of importance - a millionaire for a day. But the morning after, with an empty wallet and perhaps also some undecipherable checks, was a sad awakening. How could I have been such a fool? How will I ever make it up? Thoughts like these get you down. When we are sober, we spend our hard-earned money as it should be spent. Although perhaps some of us could be more generous in our A.A. giving, at least we do not throw it away. Am I making good use of my money?

I spent money foolishly when I was drinking - and just the cost of drinking at a bar was crazy. Drinking at a bar 4 nights a week can easily cost over $100/week - that's without buying rounds for others. I do spend my money more wisely now.

~ Mike

Escape - Nov 20th

“Nobody ever did, or ever will, escape the consequences of his choices.”
 ~ Alfred A. Montapert


A.A. Thought for the Day

I no longer try to escape life through alcoholism. Drinking built up an unreal world for me and I tried to live in it. But in the morning light the real life was back again and facing it was harder than ever, because I had less resources with which to meet it. Each attempt at escape weakened my personality by the very attempt. Everyone knows that alcohol, by relaxing inhibitions, permits a flight from reality. Alcohol deadens the brain cells that preside over our highest faculties and we are off to the unreal world of drunkenness. A.A. taught me not to run away, but to face reality. Have I given up trying to escape life?

Alcohol's ability to allow me to escape is what seduced me. All of my worries and insecurities would dissolve with alcohol, my behaviour while drinking would, of course, fuel even more worry. The more I drank the more I needed to escape - a crazy cycle. Even today I still attempt to escape at times - when I catch myself telling a lie or avoiding a responsibility, but at least I am catching these things a doing something about them. Escape is not the answer and only leads down a dark road.

~ Mike

Our Dark Side - Nov 17th

Every one is a moon, and has a dark side....
Mark Twain

A.A. Thought for the Day

Everyone has two personalities, a good and a bad. We are all dual personalities to some extent. When we were drinking, the bad personality was in control. We did things when we were drunk that we would never do when we were sober. When we sober up, we are different people. Then we wonder how we could have done the things we did. But we drink again, and again our bad side comes out. So we are back and forth, always in conflict with our other selves, always in a stew. This division of our selves is not good; we must somehow become unified. We do this by giving ourselves wholeheartedly to A.A. and to sobriety. Have I become unified?

My dark side expressed itself through my greed, petty cruelty, and envy. I spent a lot of energy justifying and validating anger and other destructive feelings. Only once I accepted that I have to resist the urge to act badly that I started a journey towards being whole.
~ Mike

Inner Conflict - Nov 16th

“The greatest conflicts are not between two people but between one person and himself.”
~ Garth Brooks


A.A. Thought for the Day
I have got rid of most of my inner conflicts. I was always at war with myself. I was doing things that I did not want to do. I was waking up in strange places and wondering how I got there. I was full of recklessness when I was drunk and full of remorse when I was sober. My life didn't make sense. It was full of broken resolves and frustrated hopes and plans. I was getting nowhere fast. No wonder my nerves were all shot. I was bumping up against a blank wall and I was dizzy from it. A.A. taught me how to get organized and to stop fighting against myself. Have I got rid of inner conflicts?

For years in sobriety I continued to play old tapes in my mind. The tapes where I am being told that I'm not good enough, smart enough, that I'm a quitter and am ungrateful and unloving. I had taken these toxic thought on as my own and though the words were uttered by others the replaying of those words was all my own doing. My inner conflict.
~ Mike