Conscious Contact - Feb 7th

We cannot merely pray to You, 0 God, to end war;
For we know that You have made the world in a way
That man must find his own path to peace
Within himself and with his neighbor.

•   Jack Riemer  

Our conscious contact with God can be called prayer. There are many forms of prayer for a man in this program. For some of us it may take the form of talking to God; for others it may be silent meditation, observing nature, listening to music, or writing in a journal.

We have experienced the healing effect of this relationship. It has allowed us to move out of our willfulness. But we need to take action where we can make a difference. We cannot blame God for every bad thing that happens - or simply wait for God to provide all the good we want. Do we see the power we do have to influence our lives? Can we give up our resentments against God for bad things that have happened?

I am grateful for what God has given me and more aware of what I can do.

Friendship - Feb 6th

Behind an able man there are always other able men.

•   Chinese proverb 

Most of us have had a strong desire in our lives to "do it ourselves." We have had the idea that strength and independence meant we should not rely on or receive help from others. Now, in recovery, we are learning a far more mature and time-honored principle. We find strength to develop to our fullest as members of a community. Maybe we never learned how to ask for help. Perhaps we haven't learned yet how to accept it. It may still be difficult to express our gratitude for the help that brought us where we are today.

In recovery, we get many lessons about these things. If we are actively growing, we will get help from others and give it too. The rewards of recovery give us ample reasons and opportunities to express our gratitude. We are no longer loners. Now we have a network of friends who truly enjoy and enhance each other's strength.

Today, I pray for help in learning how to share my strength and to appreciate the strength of others.

Privacy - Feb 5th

The human animal needs a freedom seldom mentioned: freedom from intrusion. He needs a little privacy quite as much as he wants understanding or vitamins or exercise or praise.

•   Phyllis McGinley 

The boundaries between us in our families and our friendships often need to be reshaped in recovery. We need to know our feelings are private. We reveal them at our choosing, with whom we choose. We give up on mind reading or probing because it intrudes upon another's privacy. We actively engage in our relationships by sharing ourselves and listening to each other.

A secret that makes a relationship dishonest is destructive and ought to be told. But we cannot force another person to be honest, or pry the truth from a loved one. We can only be honest ourselves and guard our own right to privacy. Intimacy is the bridge, which is built between two separate people. Only when we let others have their privacy and we take ours can our relationships be more intimate.

I will maintain the boundaries of my privacy today and respect the right of others to do the same.

Grandiosity - Feb 4th

Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.

•   Carlos Castaneda  

Were we offended by someone today? Do we harbor resentment for remarks, oversights, or unpleasant mannerisms? Do we feel tense or uneasy about how someone else has treated us? We can probably make a good case to justify our reactions. Perhaps we are in the right and they are in the wrong.

Yet, even if we are justified, it doesn't matter. We may be puffing ourselves up and wasting energy. When we are oversensitive, we take a self-righteous position, which leads us far from our path of spiritual awakening. Our strength is diminished.

How much better it is to let go of the lightness, let go of our grandiosity, and accept the imperfections in others. We need to accept our own imperfections too. When we do, we are better men, and our strength and energy can be focused on richer goals.I will accept others' imperfections; I do not need to be right.

Compassion - Feb 3rd

Compassion is ... a spirituality and a way of living and walking through life. It is the way we treat all there is in life - ourselves, our bodies, our imaginations and dreams, our neighbors, our enemies... Compassion is a spirituality as if creation mattered. It is treating all creation as holy and as divine... which is what it is.

•   Matthew Fox 

In our search for growth, serenity, and contentment, we can start at a very practical level. Simply treat ourselves, inside and out, and everything around us in a respectful and caring way. Many men have not learned how to do that. Some of us have learned to accept abuse and pain, or to be tough and abusive.

We can learn about being in a healthy relationship, about befriending ourselves and others and all of creation. With practice, we will learn more and more about having compassion. As we do, our self-centeredness and our self-pity will fall away.

Today, I will be compassionate toward each of the details of creation, and practice acceptance both within and outside myself.

Being Alive - Feb 2nd

To be alive is power,Existing in itself,
Without a further function,
Omnipotence enough.

•   Emily Dickinson  

Being a person, a man, in this world is an amazing gift. A spiritual awakening promised by this program is open to us. But today, not all of us feel powerful and alive. We may feel weak, inadequate to our task, perplexed, or stymied. Is this a day in which we are filled with exuberance for the gift of life? Or is this a day when we're feeling subdued by life's burdens?

Perhaps we need to evaluate our perspective. Are we trying to control something or someone? Are we acting as if the world should be as we want rather than as it is? Have our individual wills exceeded their natural bounds and spoiled the simple joy of being "without a further function"?

May I find the pleasure and exuberance today that come with being alive. The simple power to be a person is "omnipotence enough."

Parents - Feb 1st

Who of us is mature enough for offspring before the offspring themselves arrive? The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.

•   Peter De Vries  

Many of us, in entering recovery, are confronted with guilt about our roles as fathers. We can see so clearly with hindsight that we could have been better parents. Others of us recall the unfairness of our own parents and find it hard to forgive them.

This mixture of guilt and resentment is part of the package of recovery. If we remained the same and never learned anything new, we wouldn't have to feel guilty about the past or face our need to let go of resentments. Our spiritual renewal requires that we forgive ourselves and accept the forgiveness of those around us. Even today our children are not helped by our guilt, but they will be helped - at any age - by our amended lives. And all generations are enriched when we are able to repair broken connections with our parents.

I can accept the increased consciousness that recovery brings without punishing myself for what I didn't know.