A father is a thousand schoolmasters.
Louis Nizer
We carry our fathers within us in ways we may not notice. When we do notice this in our thoughts and actions, we can use this relationship as a source of strength. When we hear a critical mental message saying we didn't perform well enough, is it a father's voice? When we feel a sense of strength and peace, are we in touch with our childhood knowledge of fatherly love? When we doubt our ability to get along with any woman, are we relying on what we learned in our childhood homes?
Perhaps we can recast our father-son relationship in adult terms. Were our fathers too removed from our lives for us to know them? Maybe we can see now that a father's love was there but was overshadowed by the demands of survival or by a misguided life. If we are forever seeking our father's approval, we may need to find the ways in which they are truly human and imperfect like us. Making peace with them - whether face to face or in the memory of a relationship - empowers us with their strengths and grants us the adulthood we deserve.
I will make peace with my father in my mind, and his strength and that of his father will be a well-spring, in my life.
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