This above all, to refuse to be a victim. Unless I can do that I can do nothing.
Men have often become victims by seeing themselves as saviors. We forgot that we have needs too. We thought if we gave enough, our needs would eventually be met. In the process we became great controllers, not for the sake of power, but to make everything okay. We turn ourselves inside out to make our mates happy or to please our children or friends. But being a savior is a disrespectful role to play. When people became angry with us for it, we absorbed their anger and felt misunderstood.
No relationship is healthy for either person if one is a victim. We must do our loved ones the favor of letting them see our strength - let them bump up against it - even when that means we say a loud and strong no! After we have said no, our yes is much more believable.
Today, I will take responsibility/or my own life and try not to be a savior for others. I won't undermine my relationships by being a victim.
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