When I was drinking, I was absolutely selfish, I thought of myself first, last, and always. The universe revolved around me at the center. When I woke up in the morning with a hangover, my only thought was how terrible I felt and about what I could do to make myself feel better. And the only thing I could think of was more liquor. To quit was impossible. I couldn't see beyond myself and my own need for another drink. Can I now look out and beyond my own selfishness?
I have always kept a special kind of contempt for people who are or were obviously selfish. The "me first" attitude has always gotten under my skin like very few other things in life. Whether its a coworker seeking the approval of a boss or some stranger cutting me off in traffic I would seethe or even lash out way beyond what was appropriate to the situation. I can still catch myself behaving like this on occasion but the difference today is that I now know that the behaviour of others is not about me and thinking it was about me was my own selfishness at work. My morning gratitude prayer includes a request for help in having humility for this day - may you find humility as well.
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