To be happy one must risk unhappiness; to live fully one must risk death and accept its ultimate decision.
All of us, in confronting our powerlessness, have felt the truth of this paradox. If we truly admitted how far out of control our drinking was, would we be able to survive without alcohol? If we stopped caretaking, would we have any place in our relationships? If we let go of our food obsessions, would there be any pleasure left in life? Yet, we can see much of our behavior was destroying us. We had to let go of it to begin learning a better way of living.
We can face our powerlessness in very specific ways. Let us look at today's concerns as spiritual issues with lessons for us. Does an opportunity seem like a problem because of the risk involved? Are we frustrated because we cannot accept the limits of our control? We will face our powerlessness today in ways we cannot fully anticipate. When we are honest with ourselves and face it directly, we can take the risk of letting go.
Let me not be so tied to what I have or to what I want that I cannot lean on God's love and take a risk for growth
Life is painting a picture, not doing a sum.
As we go about our activities, we will have a richer day when we think of ourselves as painting a picture instead of keeping score. Rather than woodenly completing a task, we might approach it as something that can be made interesting. Instead of driving to work or riding the bus only to reach our destination, we might think of this routine as part of the picture we paint today. When a friend makes a comment, we might think of it as another brush stroke in our painting and join in with him, rather than making a game or contest, which we must try to win.
Many of us men were taught that success means having the highest score. So we have become compulsively competitive - always trying to be right, always striving for more financial security, or always pushing ourselves for some new achievement. Success may not be coming out on top. When our lives are lived as rich and interesting pictures, we find our rewards are far deeper and more lasting.
May the picture I paint today be one I will carry with me and appreciate.
Time never challenged the Indian or worked against him. Time was for silently marking the passing of the seasons. It was a thing to be enjoyed.
We have a choice as to how we view the passage of time. We can look at it as a gift to be enjoyed, marking the transitions and cycles of life. Or we can think of time as a long, thin string of pressures and frustrations - specific minutes and hours that we try to speed up or slow down. Our relationship to time is a very important part of our recovery.
We are learning to live in the present, one day at a time. We are letting go of the past. The future we place in trust to our Higher Power. Time doesn't work against us or challenge us - it just flows. This day need not be painless or close to paradise for us to live in the present moment. Being aware of our lives without struggling against time makes the day rich and full of meaning.
Today, rather than wrestling with time, I will be aware of my experiences and let time flow.
Mothers give sons permission to be a prince but the father must show him how.... Fathers give daughters permission to be princesses. And mothers must show them how. Otherwise, both boys and girls will grow up and always see themselves as frogs.
Relationships with our fathers have been central in shaping our characters. We catch ourselves saying what we heard our fathers say, or doing something we know they did. Many of us have had pain and resentments in these relationships. We wanted more time than they gave us, or we longed for praise but got criticism, or we were never sure we measured up to them.
Some of us can change our relationships with our fathers. We can do it, not by asking them to be different, but by being our full adult selves with them. This new experience is the doorway to a new aspect of our selves. Many of us cannot change our relationships with our fathers, but being with our sons and daughters in ways that nurture their growth is another chance to redo for ourselves what we missed.
My father's importance to me is a fact I must surrender to. I will take what he has given me and grow with it.
In the world to come they will not ask me, "Why were you not Moses?" They will ask me, "Why were you not Zusya?"
We grow in the direction of the choices we make. That growth depends as much on how we make decisions as on which ones we make. Often in the past we tried to model ourselves after someone we admired. Our self-confidence was poor, so we depended on others to let us know if our decisions were correct, or we modeled our decisions on how we thought others would decide. Now we see that we can never become exactly like someone else and we need not try.
To each of us, God gives a creative task and a problem - to take our special abilities and limitations and become whole men. We use standards for our choices based on our best ideas of right and wrong, of what fits with our inner feelings, and of what our Higher Power is guiding us toward. Unfinished and imperfect as we are, we become more peaceful as we become more fully ourselves.
May I be true to myself in the choices I make today? I am becoming the man that I admire.
To be happy one must risk unhappiness; to live fully one must risk death and accept its ultimate decision.
