Lying to Ourselves - Aug 26th

Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others.
—Fyodor Dostoyevsky

The primary requirement for our recovery is honesty. In order to grow in honesty we first needed to see how we had lied to others and to ourselves. This was not as easy as it first appeared. Our lies to ourselves kept us so fully in the dark that we did not know we were lying. We sometimes told "sincere" lies because we honestly did not distinguish the truth within ourselves. For so long we had preferred dishonest rationalizations, and we had come to believe them.

The spiritual life of this program is based upon experience. What we feel, what we see and hear, is what we know. When we simplify our lives and base the truth upon our experiences, we slowly cleanse ourselves of the lies we told ourselves. With this kind of honesty comes an inner peace with ourselves in whom we can say, "I know myself."

Today, I will accept my experience as a simple message of truth.

Defects - Aug 25th

“We don't love qualities; we love a person; sometimes by reason of their defects as well as their qualities.”
~ Jacques Maritain

A.A. Thought for the Day

"Unless we discuss our defects with another person, we do not acquire enough humility, fearlessness, and honesty to really get the program. We must be entirely honest with somebody, if we expect to live happily in this world. We must be hard on ourselves, but always considerate of others. We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character and every dark cranny of the past. Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we can look the world in the eyes." Have I discussed all my defects with another person?

Intolerance for others, I know now, comes from intolerance of those defects of character I share with them. 

~ Mike

Sex - Aug 24th

“Civilized people cannot fully satisfy their sexual instinct without love”
~ Bertrand Russell

A.A. Thought for the Day

"When we saw our faults, we listed them. We placed them before us in black and white. We admitted our wrongs honestly and we were willing to set these matters straight. We reviewed our fears thoroughly. We asked God to remove our fears and we commenced to outgrow fear. Many of us needed an overhauling in regard to sex. We came to believe that sex powers were God-given and therefore good, if used properly. Sex is never to be used lightly or selfishly, nor is it to be despised or loathed. If sex is troublesome, we throw ourselves the harder into helping others, and so take our minds off ourselves." Am I facing my sex problems in the proper way?

If we are to make progress in improving our physical, emotional and spiritual selves then we will have to review our attitudes towards sex. If the topic of sex triggers any negative feelings - shame, guilt, fear, anger - then change is necessary. AA gives us the tools we need to make those changes.
~ Mike

Resentment - Aug 23rd

“Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
~ Malachy McCourt

A.A. Thought for the Day

"We who have accepted the A.A. principles have been faced with the necessity for a thorough personal housecleaning. We must face and be rid of the things in ourselves, which have been blocking us. We therefore take a personal inventory. We take stock honestly. We search out the flaws in our make-up, which caused our failure. Resentment is the number one offender. Life, which includes deep resentment, leads only to futility and unhappiness. If we are to live, we must be free of anger." Am I free of resentment and anger?

My doctor had given me the quote (above) years ago and it struck a chord with me. Anger often goes unnoticed by the person we're angry at - or they simply don't care. So focusing anger and resentment only causes us pain when it is them we want to hurt. Letting go of this need to express anger is a daily struggle for me - but I am happy to say that it is a struggle in which I do see much improvement. Don't drink and go to meetings.
~ Mike

Honesty - 22 Aug

“One of the hardest things in this world is to admit you are wrong. And nothing is more helpful in resolving a situation than its frank admission.”
~ Benjamin Disraeli

A.A. Thought for the Day

"Those who do not recover are people who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault. They seem to be born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover, if they have the capacity to be honest." Am I completely honest with myself and with other people?

Honesty is a quality that I took for granted. Sobriety has taught me that taking honesty for granted is wrong - it is something that I have to work at. Even the smallest lies have to be acknowledged and corrected. Step 10 tells us we must continue to take personal inventory and honesty features prominently in this.
~ Mike

Addiction=Disease

Addiction now defined as brain disorder, not behavior issue
Decades of research convinced American Society of Addiction Medicine to change definition
  - updated 8/15/2011 1:15:01 PM ET

  Addiction is a chronic brain disorder and
not simply a behavior problem involving
alcohol, drugs, gambling or sex, experts
contend in a new definition of addiction, one
that is not solely related to problematic
substance abuse.

The American Society of Addiction Medicine
(ASAM) just released this new definition of
addiction after a four-year process involving
more than 80 experts.

"At its core, addiction isn't just a social
problem or a moral problem or a criminal
problem. It's a brain problem whose behaviors
manifest in all these other areas," said Dr.
Michael Miller, past president of ASAM who
oversaw the development of the new
definition. "Many behaviors driven by
addiction are real problems and sometimes
criminal acts. But the disease is about brains,
not drugs. It's about underlying neurology, not
outward actions."

The new definition also describes addiction as
a primary disease, meaning that it's not the
result of other causes, such as emotional or
psychiatric problems. And like cardiovascular
disease and diabetes, addiction is recognized
 as a chronic disease; so it must be treated,
managed and monitored over a person's
lifetime, the researchers say.

Two decades of advancements in
neuroscience convinced ASAM officials that
addiction should be redefined by what's going
on in the brain. For instance, research has
shown that addiction affects the brain's
reward circuitry, such that memories of
previous experiences with food, sex, alcohol
and other drugs trigger cravings and more
addictive behaviors. Brain circuitry that
governs impulse control and judgment is also
altered in the brains of addicts, resulting in the
nonsensical pursuit of "rewards," such as
alcohol and other drugs.

A long-standing debate has roiled over
whether addicts have a choice over their
behaviors, said Dr. Raju Hajela, former
president of the Canadian Society of Addiction
Medicine and chair of the ASAM committee on
addiction's new definition.

"The disease creates distortions in thinking,
feelings and perceptions, which drive people
to behave in ways that are not understandable
to others around them," Hajela said in a
statement. "Simply put, addiction is not a
choice. Addictive behaviors are a
manifestation of the disease, not a cause."

Even so, Hajela pointed out, choice does play
a role in getting help.

"Because there is no pill which alone can cure
addiction, choosing recovery over unhealthy
behaviors is necessary," Hajela said.

This "choosing recovery" is akin to people with
heart disease who may not choose the
underlying genetic causes of their heart
problems but do need to choose to eat
healthier or begin exercising, in addition to
medical or surgical interventions, the
researchers said.

"So, we have to stop moralizing, blaming,
controlling or smirking at the person with the
disease of addiction, and start creating
opportunities for individuals and families to
get help and providing assistance in choosing
proper treatment," Miller said.

Relapse - Aug 15

As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did -- then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen -- Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair.
~ ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, The Big Book

A.A. Thought for the Day

"Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are, in a short time, as bad as ever. If we have admitted we are alcoholics, we must have no reservations of any kind, nor any lurking notion that some day we will be immune to alcohol. What sort of thinking dominates an alcoholic who repeats time after time the desperate experiment of the first drink? Parallel with sound reasoning, there inevitably runs some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink. There is little thought of what the terrific consequences may be." Have I given up all excuses for taking a drink?

15 years in and I still get cravings. Fortunately they serve to scare me and, so far, I've accepted that I can never drink as a normal person.
~ Mike