Relapse - Aug 15

As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did -- then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen -- Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair.
~ ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, The Big Book

A.A. Thought for the Day

"Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are, in a short time, as bad as ever. If we have admitted we are alcoholics, we must have no reservations of any kind, nor any lurking notion that some day we will be immune to alcohol. What sort of thinking dominates an alcoholic who repeats time after time the desperate experiment of the first drink? Parallel with sound reasoning, there inevitably runs some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink. There is little thought of what the terrific consequences may be." Have I given up all excuses for taking a drink?

15 years in and I still get cravings. Fortunately they serve to scare me and, so far, I've accepted that I can never drink as a normal person.
~ Mike