Superficiality is the curse of our age. The doctrine of instant satisfaction is a primary spiritual problem.
As we have reached for instant cures, one-minute answers, and quick highs, we have developed lifestyles that foreclosed deeper possibilities. For instance, when we fail to stay and resolve conflicts in a relationship, we miss the joys of a renewed understanding. Our spiritual development comes in steps, small but meaningful increments that build over a period of time. Many of us have not been patient men and our newfound spiritual life is teaching us that the quickest, most efficient answer isn't always best.
Today, our greatest temptation may be to grab for the fast solutions rather than allowing time for small but important steps to occur. When we are frustrated, it will help to remember the difficulty may lie in our insistence on a quick answer. Sometimes simply being true to ourselves and standing as a witness while the answer develops are all that is asked of us.
I will have faith that time is on my side and it will teach me valuable things.
That which is lacking in the present world is a profound knowledge of the nature of things.
Most of us have very narrow, limited ways of understanding what happens to us. We are generally practical men, and if something goes wrong we immediately begin to think of how to fix it. We take a cause-and-effect approach to understand the events around us rather than a circular or symbolic approach. Perhaps we turn quickly to blaming instead of asking what is the meaning or the message in what is happening. We see our own experience as the center of events. We forget that our lives are only today's expression in a line of generations before us.
We become too self-satisfied with our ways of understanding the world. It may be comforting to think we understand what is going on. When we let go of that comfort and open ourselves to a more profound awareness, we enter the spiritual realm. Here we learn that facts are not enough to achieve truth. We begin to understand that love - in the form of connections with all of creation - is where we find the most profound meaning.
I am a part of the whole universe, and my relationship with my Higher Power will open me to profound knowledge.
It is senseless to speak of optimism or pessimism. The only important thing to remember is that if one works well in a potato field, the potatoes will grow. If one works well among men, they will grow. That's reality. The rest is smoke.
We can get so mired in our pessimism and negativity! What is the point in it? We even get committed to our pessimism, and we challenge the world - or God - to give us reason for hope. In our pessimism, we don't notice we have chosen a negative place to stand. Recovery means loosening our grip on negativism. We are then free to do the work we need to do. We can slowly take the risk of believing that positive things will happen too.
Any man can see the results in his own life. When we work well at this program, when we are faithful to it, we do grow. We see this truth in one another's lives. The work is not always easy. We sometimes wish to avoid it or find a reason to not even try. But there is no doubt, when we look around us, that the effort is rewarded with fulfilling lives.
God, please remove pessimism from me so I may continue my work.
Often our trust is not full. We are not certain that God hears us because we consider ourselves worthless and as nothing. This is ridiculous and the very cause of our weakness. I have felt this way myself.
Many men do not think they are worthy of recovery. Some of us even fight against our own progress. We can't seem to reconcile our low self-image with all the benefits recovery brings. This is not surprising when we see how many years we lived in self-abusive addictions. We had lifestyles in which we were treated badly by others, we abused ourselves, and we used and abused others. In our insanity, this sometimes felt masculine. Such a life does not prepare us to feel worthy of the good things in recovery. It is ridiculous to continue such pain simply because it's what we have known.
To turn this pattern around, we have to accept our Higher Power's view of us. Our Higher Power accepts us and sees us as deserving the benefits of recovery. We can get out of the way of our recovery by letting go of our unworthy feelings.
Today, I will be open to the benefits of recovery.
I feel the more I know God, that He would sooner we did wrong in loving than never love for fear we should do wrong.
Love has often been called the first rule of a spiritual life. As we awaken to our new life in this program, we learn that all of God's creation is full of objects for us to love. A sunset repeats the creative energy at work in our world today. It appears briefly, invites our love, and slowly fades away, only to be repeated in a new form the next day. The color and markings on a little bug may inspire our love, as may the smell of moist earth, the excitement of a Broadway musical, the craftsmanship of a well-made tool, or the look of warmth on a friend's face. These are all opportunities for us to let go and feel our love.
We men often feel awkward in expressing love. Perhaps we're so self-conscious and guarded that we brace ourselves against saying or doing anything that wouldn't look good. We're learning through our spiritual development to be more fervent lovers and less perfectionistic in love.
I will be renewed today each time I appreciate something near me.
A man has made at least a start on discovering the meaning of human life when he plants shade trees under which he knows full well he will never sit.
Our lives are enriched by the contributions of those who lived before us. Many men and women gave more than they ever took from society, and now we enjoy the rewards. Some people were fired with a spirit to beautify the world and planted trees that will live for 200 years. Others wrote music that speaks to us from another generation, and others established a government that guides our principles of justice. They gave so much because they knew they were a part of their community and the world.
Most of us cannot make the great contributions that will make us famous, but we enrich our lives when we contribute freely to improving our community and the world. We do that when we simply say hello to our neighbor, when we serve on a volunteer cleanup committee for a local park, and when we do Twelfth Step work in the program. We too have beautified and contributed to the world, and that gives us a feeling of peace and self-respect.
Today, I will appreciate all that comes freely to me from others, and I will give what I can to make the world a better place.
The wild geese do not intend to cast their reflection; the water has no mind to receive their image.
There are moments which simply happen through no conscious intention or will on anyone's part. The image of an old woman with a peaceful face, the smell of smoke rising from a chimney on a chilly night, the knowing look of recognition from a friend as we make a comment, the special feeling of a touch. These are spiritual moments because they reach a deeper part of our being. They are like a sliver in time set aside which nourishes our souls and adds serenity to our lives.
We grow when we learn to notice these kinds of moments. In our willfulness, we have often missed them before because we simply were not open to anything we weren't already looking for. This world is so much larger than the human mind. In recovery, we can take time to admire the beauty reflected around us.
Today, I will let the rest of life intrude upon my mind. I will let myself be nourished by what comes along.
Become nothing before God, learn to keep silent; in this silence is the beginning, which is first to seek God's kingdom.
So many devastating things can bring us to our knees. With experience we learn that pain and trouble are part of life. Most of us have fought against everyday realities as if they were our personal enemies. We accepted every challenge, thinking we had to be winners every time. Today we may feel broken by the loss of a love, by a disappointing job experience, or by our powerlessness over a loved one.
In our brokenness we find our true humanity. It is the beginning of our spiritual awakening. As men we thought surrender was a word for losers and weaklings. Living this program teaches us that accepting our brokenness opens us to a new kind of wholeness. After we acknowledge we are not in control of every event in our lives, and after admitting our addiction and codependency have controlled us, we come alive inside with the rich new experience of being a person.
God, help me today to learn the spiritual lesson contained in my frustrations and grief.
Self-knowledge and self-improvement are very difficult for most people. It usually needs great courage and long struggle.
This is a simple program but it isn't easy. We cannot take the principles we learn and thereby possess them as if we were taking a class or reading a book. We need to live them. We can only get this program by participating with others who are also on the journey. Gradually we absorb it into every fiber of our being. This takes time and dedication.
The honesty required is sometimes frightening and painful. Any man who remains faithful to this program has great courage and deserves deep respect. But we do not have to wait long to begin receiving the rewards. New freedoms, good feelings, and friendships quickly develop, and we are promised in this program to continue growing and to receive more benefits throughout our lives. What rewards have come from our courage and struggle?
I will give much to my spiritual growth because it gives much to me.
Self-righteousness is a loud din raised to drown the voice of guilt within us.
A holier-than-thou attitude within us is often a sign of unconscious dishonesty. Who hasn't had the feeling of being superior to the angry outburst or the near slip of another man - and then found himself in the very same spot the next day? What we least want to admit about ourselves is what we are most likely to feel self-righteous about.
Since our blind spots and self-deception leave us vulnerable to returning to old behaviors, we must attack them vigorously. The man we feel most self-righteous toward may be the man we could learn the most from. When we stop focusing on him, we may notice he touches our most sensitive area. We're all creatures of God and equals in God's sight. The ways we create inequality are the ways we fall short of God's wisdom.
I will use my self-righteous feelings to point me to my own blind spots.
No man can produce great things who is not thoroughly sincere in dealing with himself.
We are in the business of producing miracles. The renewal of life in us and others in this program is a great event and happens only after we establish an honest relationship with ourselves. No longer can we excuse our minimizing and little white lies that push aside the truth. No longer can we deny our private fears and self doubts. In our growing sincerity with ourselves, we can admit our weaknesses. Some of us feel inadequate at our work, many of us have feelings that we aren't masculine enough, and many of us feel tempted to return to old destructive behaviors.
In this program we have a renewal based on truth. We build upon solid reality rather than upon fiction. Denying the truth to ourselves always made us weaker and sicker than the facts themselves ever could. Viewing the facts from a new position of acceptance shows they aren't nearly as bad as we thought. Our sincerity with ourselves becomes a solid footing for growth.
My strength today is based upon a sincere relationship with myself.
Life is not a spectacle or a feast; it is a predicament.
We could probably feel more tranquil if the world were a simpler place and always gave us simple answers. But we are faced with many ambiguous and uncertain situations. The changing roles of men and women can often leave us bewildered. We are engaged in the development of relationships that have lives of their own, and it's not always clear where they are headed. Even within ourselves we have contradictory feelings, and it's difficult to come up with clear answers.
Since we cannot force simplicity upon the world, we must turn to ourselves for a new response. We can become more tolerant of our unsettled predicaments. We can learn to have faith that good comes from change. Things have a way of settling out and clarifying with time. As we develop patience with the questions and the unclear issues in our lives, we gain a deeper serenity.
Today, I will recall the predicaments in my past life that, in time, became clearer, and I will have patience with what seems unsettled.
If only I could throw away the urge to trace my patterns in your heart I could really see you.
Trying to control and change the people around us creates great problems in our relationships. When people we love are expressing themselves, we're thinking about what we wish they would say, and it blocks us from hearing clearly. A need for safety and for a guarantee that we won't be abandoned urges us to manipulate the people we love. We know we have innocent motives. We say we only want what is best and that we are only trying to protect ourselves or be helpful. But we hide from the effects our actions have on our relationships.
We seem to be more trapped in these self-centered behaviors with the ones we are closest to. We can change ourselves by slowly releasing our security grip on others. We can focus more on understanding what others are saying to us than on changing how they think and feel. Intimacy is clearly seeing each other and knowing the differences as well as the similarities. It requires that both people be allowed to walk on separate paths.
I will release my grip on my loved ones and turn to my Higher Power for security and serenity
Thou art everywhere, but I worship you here;
Thou art without form, but I worship you in these forms;
Thou neediest no praise, yet I offer you these prayers and salutations.
Hindu prayer
The history of the Twelve Steps tells us that in the first small A.A. group there was controversy about the word God. For some of the men, God was known in traditional religious ways; other members were agnostic. This first group followed their group conscience. The resolution they achieved has inspired many new Twelve Step members ever since. They were guided through their disagreement to a new expression of their spiritual relationship. They began to speak of a "Power greater than ourselves" and of "God, as we understood Him."
Today we turn to God, as we understand God, because our definitions are restricted by human limitations. We know from our own experiences and from the stories of thousands of men and women who have preceded us, that this spiritual program is very practical and simple. It works. It restores our lives.
To a Power greater than myself, I am filled with gratitude.
I never suspected that I would have to learn how to live - that there were specific disciplines and ways of seeing the world I had to master before I could awaken to a simple happy, uncomplicated life.
Wisdom begins in seeing how much we do not know. Sometimes it's a painful blow to our egos to face what we still have to learn. Many of us have believed we know how to live. Yet, when we look at our lives, we see something has been missing. When we continue to have great stress, when we haven't made progress in simplifying our lives, when our lives seem full of crises - perhaps then it is time to open ourselves to some new learning.
We can talk to sponsors and get ideas from group members. Perhaps they have noticed our blind spots and will tell us if asked. Expressing our problems in specific ways may point us to new learning. Our program teaches us twelve specific disciplines for our growth. We need to return to them again and again. We can always ask ourselves, "What Step am I working on at this time?" We may need to learn new ways to work on a specific Step.
I will turn to my fellow group members and focus on one Step for my growth today.
One of the main reasons wealth makes people unhappy is that it gives them too much control over what they experience. They try to translate their own fantasies into reality instead of tasting what reality itself has to offer.
We are constantly told that the way to happiness is through material possessions. "Men who drive this sports car have all the women after them!" "If I could only own this special tool it would make me happy!" What does a man really want? He wants a feeling that his life makes sense. He wants the give and take of loving relationships. He wants to feel he has a place in the world and can make a contribution. And he wants the feeling that he is not standing still, but growing in those ways.
Being poor certainly limits our options, but material wealth is an empty seduction. Putting all our energies into capturing wealth may make us rich, but it also can become an addiction that causes unhappiness. We become much richer in our souls and in our experiences when we take the risks that help us improve our relationships and teach us how to live balanced lives.
I will live each moment in ways that fit my true values.
We know about remorse and death. But do we know about hope and life? I believe in life after birth!
We do not need to create difficulties and pain in our lives. They come with the package of human existence. Some of us even feel bewildered when we aren't pressed by trouble. As we grew in recovery and our lives became better ordered, many of us thought, "Life seems to be going so well; I wonder what's wrong?" We were more accustomed to remorse and crisis than to joy and serenity.
What lies before us today is an unpainted picture. There are many possibilities for events to take a good turn. This, too, is part of the package, but we must believe and affirm the good things in order to accept them. When our only expectations are pain and trouble, they probably will be our only experiences. However, when we have faith that a better life is possible, we open ourselves to receive it.
Today, I will live with hope for the possibilities and accept the good things that come my way.
No man is more cheated than the selfish man.
When we're selfish, we close off the channels of exchange with others. Not only are we grabbing and holding all the goods or attention we can get, but we are denying others the possibility of sharing with us in the benefits. We may be selfish in material goods, but there are many other ways too. Some of us expect our spouses to meet our needs while we make little effort to meet theirs. Some of us discover our selfishness as we drive, refusing to yield a position to another car or getting furious if we lose a place in heavy traffic.
By contrast, our generosity and welcoming responses nourish the spirit within us and create a good environment for our growth. Sometimes giving does not come easily. We have a more generous spirit when we are in touch with our ultimate vulnerability. All of life is fragile, and we need each other to have a good life. We can truly hold onto nothing but ourselves. Giving what we can of our time, our energy, and our goods, helps create the kind of world we want to live in.
Today, I will look for ways to be generous with those I share this world with.
I can sing a prayer as well as say it.
—Baal Shem Tov
Lightness of spirit, song, and liberation are the products of a hearty spirituality. There is never a moment we don't have reason to fret or mourn. If we need to grieve, our recovery helps and supports us. But more than that, we are freed in this new life to be men of song and humor. We can sing although life is painful, because we are part of a group of recovering people. We're part of an unfolding mystery. We have love and it is beautiful.
Each time we let go of a secret or an old guilt or a worry about the future, our spirit is lightened. Maybe we experience this at its fullest while spending time with friends who take us just as we are. Perhaps we find it by seeing a funny movie or singing with a group. In the wisdom of the Steps, we are asked to do difficult and painful tasks, which lead to our spiritual awakening. A light spirit celebrates the outcome of our hard work.
I will remember that my laughter and song are also ways of praying.
Superficiality is the curse of our age. The doctrine of instant satisfaction is a primary spiritual problem.
